


Suicide Note

by Elf



Category: Fushigi Yuugi
Genre: Gen, Guilt, Redemption, Remorse, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-09
Updated: 2005-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-29 23:02:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elf/pseuds/Elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another FY songfic, this one based around Yui and Miaka's thoughts toward the end of the second season. Set to the song "Suicide Note".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suicide Note

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: (revised! 4-9-05) Just another songfic that came to mind today. It was written quickly since I'm really hungry but didn’t want to start cooking till I wrote this out. Mainly from Yui's point of view, but a bit from Miaka's. I don’' own any of the characters, Miss Watase has that honor. Nor do I own the song "Suicide Note". Johnette Napolitano holds on to that one.

_**Every night** _  
_**You wrote another line** _  
_**With a bloody, broken bottle** _  
_**And every day** _  
_**You wish it away** _  
_**Why don't you pull the pin** _  
_**On that grenade** _  
_**You cuddle** _

Unaware of Nakago's cold elation Yui sighed. Miaka had indeed betrayed her. All those years her friendship had meant nothing. Nakago had been right all along. Every day he held her hand, filling her mind with doubt. But he was right. She glanced down at the scar the marred the smooth skin of her wrist. She should have died. And now, more than ever, she wanted to reopen that wound. Her one lifeline in this cruel world had vanished. But she would get her revenge. She would make Miaka pay.

And the time passed...

_**I wanted to believe** _  
_**Bodies swinging from trees** _  
_**Struggling to stand** _  
_**With your head in your hands** _  
_**A stoic last stand** _  
_**Of a dying man** _

"How is Suboshi?"

"...he's dead..."

Yui froze on her end of the phone. Nothing had gone right since coming back to her world. Nothing. And she had sent a young man to his death. His love for her had driven him to die trying to restore her honor and dignity. She ended the conversation with Miaka quickly and retreated to her bedroom. Once there she dropped to her knees and began to cry. Everyone was dying. All because of her. And yet, the only person that she really wanted to remove from this world was herself.

_**I wanted to believe** _  
_**As I watched your world** _  
_**Crumble in your hands** _  
_**I wanted to believe** _  
_**As you raised your glass** _  
_**To your last stand** _  
_**And I wanted to believe** _  
_**You would win** _  
_**The war in your head** _  
_**That I did not understand** _  
_**That I did not understand** _

Miaka watched her best friend run from the building rooftop. The pages of the Okuda's letter fluttered at her. Yui had been through so much and been fed so many lies that there was little hope for her survival. Still, Miaka clung to that hope. Yui was strong. If she had managed to make it this far then perhaps she could survive the beast god. She only had to be strong and have faith in herself. The brunette frowned as she gathered the papers back up. Nakago had done so much to destroy her friend's inner fire. She prayed to Suzaku, even if he couldn't hear, that Yui would find herself.

_**Every night** _  
_**The questions poured out** _  
_**Of your wounded eyes** _  
_**Damn dark things** _  
_**Every day** _  
_**You used to pray** _  
_**Listen to the black raven sing** _

Green scales on her leg mocked her with their appearance. She was going to be devoured...and Nakago had known all along what her fate would be. The knowledge broke like a dam over her and Yui screamed her frustration and betrayal. Nakago had used her like a pawn, turned her against her best friend and twisted her emotions. Confusion, anger, pain...they all twisted like a snake in her mind. How had she let it come to this? And how could she fix it?

_**You wanted to believe** _  
_**As you were falling to your knees** _  
_**Struggling to stand** _  
_**With your life in your hand** _  
_**The sad last stand** _  
_**Of a broken man** _

Miaka fell to the sidewalk, battered and bleeding from the attack. Yui started toward her but Nakago's quiet laugh made her freeze. There was no choice anymore. Nakago demanded she follow through on her promise to give him ultimate power. And yet to do so meant that she condemned her world and the world in the book to destruction. If she resisted, first Miaka and then the rest of this world would feel his wrath. Either way the worlds would be destroyed. Then it came to her, the only solution.

Yui closed her aqua eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Miaka looked up at met her gaze one last time. The blonde smiled and spoke quietly, her last words to her true friend. Then she uttered the word that called Seiryuu.

"Kai-jin."

The last thing she heard before the cold of the beast god took her was Miaka's scream.

_**I wanted to believe** _  
_**As I watched your world** _  
_**Crumble in your hands** _  
_**I wanted to believe** _  
_**As you raised your glass** _  
_**To your last stand** _  
_**And I wanted to believe** _  
_**You would win** _  
_**The war in your head** _  
_**That I did not understand** _  
_**That I did not understand** _

The flash of the blue light overwhelmed Miaka for a moment and when her vision cleared she saw that Yui was no longer there. At the end, she had believed, but too late. Still too late.

"Yui-chan..."

Reason left her and she ran toward Nakago, even knowing that it would do no good, only wanting to hurt him for all the pain he had caused. His life force repelled her easily and she flew backwards, he head striking the concrete. Blackness washed over her. "Yui..." she whispered, and then gave into the nothingness.

_**The sound of you falling** _  
_**I did not understand** _  
_**As the trembling heart of a man** _  
_**Did not understand** _  
_**The sound of a trembling heart** _

"Miaka...Miaka!"

Miaka opened her eyes gasped at the person standing before her. Yui smiled at her, the smile that she used to wear before all this had come about.

"Yui-chan!"

A sad smile flashed across Yui's face. "Thank you, Miaka, I understand now. Remember me after this is over. But now, you have to protect our world. Both worlds. I give you the power to summon Suzaku. Be strong, my friend." With those words Yui faded into the blackness. Determination came over Miaka. She would finish this. For those who had died. For those who still lived. But most of all, for the one who gave her life for this chance...Yui.


End file.
